Because He Hates Him
by love-always-has-a-price
Summary: "I love him because I hated him." Four years of him. Sixteen seasons of him. Hate can only last so long, but not always forever. Besides there has always been a thin line between hate and... love. High school AU.
1. Chapter 1: Freshman Year-Fall

Chapter 1: Freshman Year- Fall

**So, I have fallen in love with this ship. I seriously can't help but love it. These two are just too freaking adorable together in my opinion and I get so upset with the hating because everyone has their own opinion on what they like. So, don't judge. And I am not even a big fan of yaoi, but this ship is just perfect to me! Alright, here is my first SNK fanfic and I am so happy that it is an Eren x Jean fanfic!**

**This will be a small project, so no worries. I will get on with my Ninjago and Fairy Tail fanfics too. **

**XxxxX**

Eren grunted lowly as he stared down at his stupid lock. _Why the fuck is this not working?_ He had already entered the damn combination multiple times and still, this freaking locker would not open. Eren kicked the damn locker before throwing his backpack at the stupid locker. _Of all the freaking lockers, I get the stupid one that doesn't work. Great, just great…_

He huffed as he glanced around to find someone to help him with his stupid locker. No one was in his range of sight that he knew which made him roll his eyes in irritation. He looked away and back to his locker. He tried once again to place his combination in, but still nothing was opening his locker. He recoiled his arm and readied it to launch into the middle of his locker-

"You skipped the second number."

Eren glanced to his right to see a taller male placing a few books in his locker while keeping one or two along with some notebooks. Eren examined this guy for a long while, his hair was cut in a two along the edges by his ears and sorta of around, but the top of his head was mop of ash-brown hair which was much longer than the side. For some reason the shorter trim created a dark hue to his hair. His eyes were an intense light brown with a slight golden tint to them, a bit on the smaller side. His face structure fair enough for him to be attractive, his face a bit on the long side though. _Horse-face…_ Eren snickered inwardly. Eren still carefully looked at this male with his teal green orbs. Wearing a dark blue three-quarter long sleeve shirt with darker blue stripes on the ends of the sleeves with semi-skinny jeans, it sort of clung to his body which revealed his toned arms and broad/muscular shoulders. Eren still watched this guy while opening his mouth to say something, but was beat to it.

"You done checking me out?" The taller male said while clicking his tongue.

Eren scrunched his brows in fury and hissed, "As if I would check out a guy with a horse-face! Besides, I am fucking interested in girls!"

The taller male slammed his locker shut and swung his backpack over his left shoulder. He stared at Eren, slightly towering over him, he then chuckled, "Whatever, just joking." He then passed Eren making sure to shove him a bit into the locker, "Just make sure you don't skip the second digit again, fucker."

Eren watched as the horse-faced male stalked off. He cursed inwardly and then turned to his locker to fidget with his lock once more, "Don't skip the second digit." Eren growled, "The lock is busted, I'm not skipping any numbers." Eren redid his combination for the 17th time that morning, subconsciously taking the horse-face's advice, he successfully unlocked his locker. He thanked the heavens before realizing what he had done.

He slumped over and cursed, "Fucking horse-face was right…. Damnit."

The brunette shoved the books he didn't need into the stupid locker and kept one along with his notebook and other things. He proceeded in slamming his locker and growling lowly. _I hate that horse-face!_

XxxxX

Eren slumped in his seat as he stared at the board with his most bored face plastered on. He utterly disliked Language Arts with every fiber in his body. He rolled his eyes before taking some notes, his eyes shifted over to one of his friends, Armin. The blonde was very studious and took this seriously, he was afraid of failing basically anything and everything. Eren chuckled quietly as he watched Armin struggle to grasp the concept of what the teacher was explaining.

His eyes shifted around to scan the area, that's when they landed on a certain male. He gripped tightly onto his pencil as he stared at the same guy who 'helped' him with his locker. _Horse-face is here!_ Eren narrowed his teal-green orbs and quickly snapped his attention back at the board and his notes before Horse-face dare look up and think that he was checking the horse-faced idiot out.

Eren grumbling went about his note taking avoiding any and all eye contact with that tall hose-faced imbecile.

He chuckled lightly before rolling his eyes and resting his chin upon the palm of his hand, he then proceeded to shake his head. He felt a tap on his shoulder causing him to turn to face his best friend. "Hmmm, what Marco?" he whispered still holding that amused look on his face and entertained shine in his eyes.

The slightly taller male who sat beside him muttered quietly, "Why were you chuckling?" The brunette tried to see what might have caused his friend to laugh.

"Nothing important Marco, just some kid who thinks he is a sneaky bastard." The ash-brown haired male whispered back with a hint of enjoyment lingering in his words.

"Come on, Jean, tell me." Marco mumbled pleadingly.

Jean glanced up from his notes to the brunette, "It isn't anything to worry about, kay? Now take your notes, Freckles, I won't let you copy mine like I let you in junior high."

Marco huffed and stared down at his notes. He started to jot some down before glancing back at his friend whose golden brown eyes were landed on a brunette only a few rows up. Marco got curious suddenly, _why would that catch Jean's attention?_ Of course, his question had been answered at the perfect time, the brunette turned around and made eye contact with Jean.

Jean sneered and gave a small wave before looking down at his notes and continued on with the lesson. Marco watched as the now embarrassed brunette went back to his notes in a small fit of anger. Marco now understood why Jean had been so amused. Jean found someone to tease. Jean found someone to slightly make fun of. Jean found someone to pick a bone with. Marco sighed, Jean was a very likable guy, but Jean could be, well, really blunt. Marco continued his notes already seeing a rivalry in development and quite frankly, he just hoped his best friend didn't get too beat up or anything. Jean had to play this fall for the football team, so he could break something just yet.

XxxxX

Eren entered the cafeteria in search of two people. His sister, Mikasa and his childhood friend, Armin. His eyes searched for them endlessly, but they were not in his line of vision at all. Finally, he spotted a blonde mess of hair along with a similar mess of raven in almost the same cut. He waltzed over in long strides towards the two, but came to a halt as soon as he saw the table they sat at.

People.

Some he knew, others he didn't. But one caught his attention which made him freeze.

_Why the fuck is that goddamn Horse-faced idiot there?!_

He prepared himself to turn when he heard Armin call his name.

"Eren!" the blonde male called. He scooted over and patted the seat, "Come on, sit with us!"

Eren pulled out one of his best fake grins and nodded, "Yeah, sounds like a plan!" He then walked over to sit with his friends. He smiled at Mikasa as she gave a light nod.

Sasha immediately went for his baked potato and asked, "Do you want it?"

Eren shook his head, "All yours Sash."

The female snatched it and started to eat it. She then pointed at a shorter male next to her and muttered out, "This is Connie!"

"Jeezz, Sasha at least finish what you have in your mouth!" Jean mumbled out with a short laugh. Sasha shrugged, then continued eating her potato.

Connie cracked a few jokes with her and made her laugh along with almost everyone else. Connie was Sasha's best friend, and Eren was wondering when the two would hook-up. Jean chatted with everyone, making everyone laugh at the perfect moment and being blunt at times. It ticked a few people off, but still it made Jean popular. Marco was shy and yet very nice and unlike Jean, he wasn't honest to a fault. But the freckled male idolized the ash-brown haired male who always sat beside him. The blonde girl, Krista was taken by Ymir. The light blonde was Annie, and she was mostly uninterested with everyone else but she would talk and comment against some things. Also, she was pretty cute when she laughed. Eren seemed to learn this within the first week he sat with these people.

Within two weeks, Armin, Eren, and Mikasa were officially apart of the group.

Within the first month, Eren and Jean had their first fight. It happened after school, after Jean's football practice. Neither of them won, but Jean had a black eye for three days, Eren had a bloody nose and a bruised cheek.

Jean and Eren became rivals. In the classes they had together, in eating, in running, in fighting, in anything and everything. It was friendly in a sense. But they would always get in heated arguments which would cause Marco to hold Jean back and Mikasa and Armin to hold Eren back.

Eren would call him, "Morning, Horse-face." as a morning greeting.

Jean would greet him back with, "Morning, Fucker."

Then another argument would start. This continued throughout September, October, and November. That's when December of Freshmen year rolled over and one of their biggest fights would ensue.

**XxxxX**

**So… should I continue? Sorry for any confusion and if they seem OOC. Comment please and tell me what you think!**


	2. Chapter 2: Freshman Year-Winter

Chapter 2: Freshmen Year- Winter

**So, I said I would write this anyways, so bam. Small project continuing! The summary isn't beautiful, but ehh, it is okay. Now, the big fight happens! And some other things that are slightly depressing.**

**Love you all!**

**ChibiCrow: Thank you! Glad you liked it so far!**

**Lily Romane Fowl: Thank you! That means so much, and I am continuing!**

**haley.S123: Not leaving you hanging anymore!**

**OoooO**

Jean knew how to get on Eren's nerves. That was mostly because Eren knew how to get on his. It was always a constant back and forth with the two. Sometimes simple fights, picking and teasing, rivalries over stupid things, and just not agreeing on the smallest things, which would most of the time be stupid.

But, there was a few things they excelled at that the other could not. One point for Jean would be his football skills. American football and non-American football. Jean had a natural talent with soccer, the moment his parents had signed him up for the damn sport and the moment he touched a ball with his foot he was like a freaking god. Football came pretty naturally too; he had one hell of an arm. Eren… not so much of the sports god, but he was gifted with musical ability. He may not have been able to toss a perfect spiral, but man, could he strum a guitar with no effort at all and make it sound so beautiful. He may not have been able to strike a ball perfectly into the far corner of a goal, but damn, that voice of his was like it belonged to an angel.

Yet, as much of jerks they were to each other, no matter how much they said they hated the other, that they rather die than work together, both of them knew that deep down, they didn't just tolerate the other. Because secretly, they liked each other's company, why else would they spend so much time together?

Jean sat on the floor of his house before glancing up at Marco and muttering, "Did you really have to invite them over?"

Marco glanced over at him and sighed, "Are you taking about the study session?"

Jean rolled his eyes, "We could have studied by ourselves."

"Armin pleaded and Eren suffers in L.A. You are great in L.A."

"Doesn't make it okay." Jean huffed and rolled onto his stomach before doing some pushups, "Besides! You invited them to my house!"

"It's finals!" Marco tried to reason with Jean.

"My house, my rules!" Jean grumbled. He was on his tenth pushup, "Besides, I was going to watch the game today! Chicago is playing San Francisco today."

Marco shrugged, "They'll probably watch it too."

"But Yeager screws everything up! He hates me and I hate him!" Jean muttered coldly.

Marco rolled his eyes and flipped some channels, "Well, just try and get along, please?"

Jean rolled back onto his back and sighed, "Fine."

Marco smiled, "Great!" Then he continued to watch the pregame. "Are you excited about the homecoming game?"

Jean nodded, "Of course I am, I am gonna be a starting freshman on the varsity team. How is that not exciting?" Jean grinned.

Marco nodded, "True, tennis is at the championships next week. If we win we get into finals!" Marco clapped his hands in excitement, "I can't believe I made the varsity team!"

Jean laughed, "I knew you would. You have been playing tennis as long as I have been playing football."

Marco blushed slightly, "I'm not that great."

"You're on fucking varsity, which means you are fucking good!" Jean basically shouted.

Marco grew flushed and shrugged, "I guess. Hey, Jean, can I ask a question?"

Jean nodded, "You already asked one, why not another. Shoot!"

"When are you asking Mikasa to Homecoming?"

Jean turned to face his freckled friend, "After we win the homecoming game."

Marco nodded and mumbled, "Seems like a good plan. What if you don't win?"

"I will make sure we do."

Both of them looked at each other and smiled. Marco knew Jean was too determined to think about what ifs. It was something Marco really admired about Jean. That's when the doorbell rang. Jean stood and stretched out, "Well here come Yeager and the short blonde one." Jean waltzed over to his front door and then swung it open, "Hey guys, welcome to my house, come on in and make yourselves at home." Jean faked his best smile and sugarcoated his words.

"Eww… it made me barf in my throat." Eren muttered.

Jean glared at the latter, "Sorry Yeager, didn't mean to act nice towards you. It was for Armin."

Eren cringed his nose up and walked in making sure to push the taller male with his shoulder, "Whatever, Horse-face."

Jean rolled his eyes and scooted away to allow Armin to enter. Armin sighed and looked at Jean apologetically, "Sorry."

Jean closed his door and pressed his fingers to his temples with a sigh, he mumbled, "Get it over with, it will be fine."

That night ended with Jean and Eren passed out on Jean's recliner.

Both of them got irritated with the studying because Jean tried to explain with both Marco and Armin's assistance, but Eren could not understand more than half of it. Eren groaned because he hated Language Arts. He then plopped his French on the table and started to practice it.

Jean corrected him multiple times. And Jean received a punch to the face after he corrected Eren for the tenth time.

"What the fuck, Yeager?" Jean hissed as he stared in shock at the brunette while rubbing his cheek.

The brunette scowled at the now bruised face, "Shut up, Kirschtein." Eren then looked back at his book and muttered, "Don't correct me when you don't even know French."

Jean burst into laughter.

"Why the fuck are you laughing?!"

Jean had fell and curled in a ball in a fit of laughter. Armin stifled his chuckles, while Marco only grinned. He then tapped Eren. Eren looked at the tallest male with a questioning look. Marco then muttered, "Jean is French. He moved from France when he was in grade school."

Eren felt like an idiot. He looked down at his French book and then looked back at Jean who was still laughing. He waited until Jean finally calmed down. The ash-brown haired male laid on the ground with his hand rested on his stomach, he then glanced at the embarrassed brunette. Jean rolled on his side and posed himself to rest on his arm, "So, Yeager, want some help now?"

Eren hit the smartass' head with his book and mumbled, "Yeah…"

Once the clock hit five, Marco flipped the T.V. on to watch the football game. Jean had ordered a pizza and brought out all the junk food he had. Eren and Jean both forced Armin to eat the damn processed foods and junk while Marco watched from afar. Eren and Jean ended up in a full on who can eat the most war. Both ended up in the bathroom puking their guts out. Eren in the toilet. Jean in the bathtub. Armin paused the game, thank god for Direct T.V. Marco had helped them wash off and told them to tone it down. They didn't. Their drinking competition did lead to one bottle of beer each. Both of them were not satisfied, but could not argue. They took a long piss later on during half time.

With all the pausing, playing, pausing, playing, and pausing, they didn't finish the game until ten thirty. Jean then said, "Stay the night. We don't have school tomorrow. Remember, Friday is a holiday, and my parents won't care."

Eren agreed. Armin had to, Eren was his ride. So, movies and soda and junk food galore. Stupid dares, arm wrestling, arguments, and more idiotic things occurred within the night.

But somehow, Jean and Eren had ended up in the recliner. Together. Jean sat normally while Eren lay on top of him; he sat in Jean's lap. His head lay onto of Jean's chest while Jean's chin rested on the top of Eren's head.

Around seven in the morning Marco awoke to use the facilities. He returned to see the two rivals snug and still sleeping together. Marco had a mini fanboy moment. _Holy- that is so freaking adorable! _Marco felt his heart twitch at how adorable it was, it was too cute for him, and he shipped them. End of story. Marco shipped them and he was going to tell them as soon as they woke up.

He smiled and helped himself into the kitchen to get a bowl of cereal. He sat back on the couch and munched away while eating his Lucky Charms. The next to awake was Armin; he was sleeping on the other chair beside the couch. Armin slowly poked his head up while rubbing his eyes and giving a small yawn. Marco stared at Armin with wide eyes and a growing blush upon his face. _Armin, he is so freaking adorable!_ Marco felt his heart flutter a little at the sight of sleepy Armin become aware of his surroundings. Marco slid closer towards Armin's side and smiled at the blonde.

"Morning," Marco whispered with a bright smile.

Armin head slumped over towards Marco, his eyes half opened, and a lazy smile formed on his lips. His balled up fist had slowly made his way to his left eye and he mumbled still holding a smile, "Good morning, Marco."

Fuck…

Marco found a cutie. Three months in school and he hadn't realized how adorable the blonde was, but now, it was all clear. Marco already felt as though he had a mild crush on Armin, because the kid was smart and had this shy personality. Marco was screwed now. Recalling the first time he saw Armin stutter and blush like crazy while trying to prove a point to Eren, Marco thought he was fucking adorable. Let's not forget those big, beautiful blue eyes. Those, damn, he could look into those forever. Yup, he was officially fucked.

Armin's big blue eyes glazed over to the recliner that was across the table from him. His eyes went wide and now he was fully awake now. He could not believe what he was seeing. _Am I still sleeping?_ He rubbed his eyes several times and blinked to make sure he was seeing things clearly. Armin looked over at Marco to confirm if it was actually happening.

"Yup, they have been like that since they've fallen asleep." Marco said in a hushed voice.

Armin just looked at his friends as they slept entangled in the other. "They would actually look good together, if they didn't hate each other's guts." Armin weighed it out.

Marco nodded, "Yeah. I ship them." He glanced at Armin to see the blonde chuckle softly.

Marco joined in. Then Marco stood and shook his bowl to jingle the spoon a little. "Want some cereal?"

Armin yawned and stood nodded. "Sure… why not?" He shuffled his feet to follow Marco into the kitchen.

Marco served him a bowl and then served himself. They sat at the table and munched away while eating there Lucky Charms. Armin then mumbled, "You know where everything is, how much do you come over?"

Marco finished his spoonful before answering, "Jean and I have known each other since kindergarten." Marco took another spoonful, "We have always hung out at each other's houses."

Armin nodded, "I get you, Eren and I have been friends that long too."

Marco grinned and then continued to eat while glancing into the living room waiting for the two rivals to awake. Armin glanced over at Marco and studied his face, _those freckles, there are so many…_ Armin then looked over at the living room and mumbled, "You have a lot of freckles…"

Marco nodded, "Yeah. They cover my whole body."

Armin had a light pink hue upon his cheeks. "Really…?" Armin inquired without much thought.

"Yeah. I don't mind it though." Marco snickered to himself.

A comforting silence soon entered their breakfast, both enjoying the other's company. The two were both munching away in the comfort of the other's presence. Light drumming filtered through the air as Marco's fingers played on the table. Armin's eyes shifted to the tanner male's hand while lightly drummed to a nonexistent beat, to no rhythm. Both smiled as they continued to eat away in the lingering peace. Armin was about to inquire another question, but before he could it seemed that someone woke up.

More like someones.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING ON TOP OF ME?!"

And suddenly, they fell and fisted it out.

Marco just laughed while Armin scrambled to try and not let them break anything.

XxxxX

It was a week until the Homecoming game and Jean was more the excited for it. He was really looking forward to it in all honesty, because he was a freshman and he was on varsity.

It was late after school and practice had just ended for the ash brown haired male. He was going up the stairs on the outside of the math building. He had to go and get sometime real quickly; he hoped his teacher was there though. He was cut short when the side door swung open and he hopped down a few steps not wanting to get it. He saw standing there Eren with an extremely pissed look.

Eren saw Jean and hissed, "What the fuck do you want?!"

Jean just shrugged, "Need to get an assignment, what about you dumbfuck?"

Eren glared at the football player and growled, "Shut it, you fucker."

Jean rolled his eyes and stepped up to open the door, but he stopped, "I'm asking your sister to Homecoming."

"What the fuck?!" Eren's Caribbean aqua orbs looked over at Jean.

"I'm asking her no matter what you say." Jean glared at the brunette and then turned back to open the door.

Eren gripped Jean and readied a punch, but was cut off by Jean's fist landing on his gut. Eren coughed as Jean rolled her eyes, "Really, Eren?" Eren just glared at the male and then he threw a fierce punch.

XxxxX

And just like that, the sickening sound of something breaking echoed in the chill of the cold, yet not harsh winter air. Eren gulped at the sound, his eyes shut while he cringed at it all. He didn't want to see it happen, but he knew it would have to face the damage. His eyes slowly opened as soon as the painful howl rung out into the crisp air. He stared in horror at Jean's arm.

His left arm had broken a bone and that bone was now sticking out of his flesh.

Eren could barely breathe.

Jean then slipped into shock.

Eren rushed down the steps and was already calling 911. He reached the ash-brown haired male and slid onto his knees. "I have an emergency, please hurry." He then rested Jean's head on his lap, "At Maria R. Sina High. We are behind the math building, the stairs on the east side!" Eren felt tears brimming up in his teal-green orbs, he hissed out as his fingers carded through Jean's hair, "Fuck! God damnit! Hurry! He is in fucking shock!" He bit his lip to suppress his tears from leaking, "Don't tell me to calm down! Shit! Yes, his head is elevated! I can only do so much! His bone is sticking out of his flesh!"

Eren screamed into his phone until the ambulance finally came. He was freaking out and had ridden with Jean the whole way. Eren knew he fucked up. Eren knew that he could never take this back. Eren knew for a fact that, if Jean hated him forever, he couldn't blame him. Eren knew that.

And Eren hated himself more and more as the seconds dwindled by.

XxxxX

Eren sat out the in the hall. He had already phoned Jean's parents and Marco. He had called home saying that he was at the hospital because a friend was injured. Eren sat there, his feet frantically tapping away while his hands pressed together clutching tightly to each other.

"Mr. Yeager?"

His head lifted and he stood as soon as he heard the voice. "Yes? How is he? Will he be alright? Is he alive?" The questions flowed out like a pouring rain.

"He is stable. He has a concussion though... and he slipped into a very light coma. He should wake up in a few days." the doctor paused, "How did it happen?" He stared at Eren with his blue, beady eyes, "Were you present when it happened?"

Eren gulped and nodded.

"What happened exactly?"

Eren looked down and opened his mouth, but his words weren't coming out. He could not form a word at all. He finally snapped his face up and said, "I saw him slip." Fear had gripped his throat and he lied. He bit his tongue and cursed inwardly at himself.

"Backwards?"

"Yes..."

The doctor nodded, "That explains the bruises and slight fracture in his upper shoulder bone. Here," He pointed it out to Eren on Eren's body.

"Will he be able to-?"

"Play again?"

Eren nodded frantically.

"Possibly, but not for the rest of the school year." The doctor mumbled. That's when the doors busted open with Jean's parents and everyone else. The doctor attended to Jean's sobbing mother and concerned father. Eren was left with their friends.

Marco had gripped onto his shoulders and stared into Eren's eyes with his brown orbs. "What happened?! Is he alright?! Is he alive?!" Marco was freaking out, Eren could not blame him. His best friend could have died.

Eren gulped and lied again, "He fell backwards. He slipped and fell. I'm sorry." He looked down in shame.

Marco looked down as tears rushed down, he had long released Eren and shut his eyes tightly, "He-he did?" His voice cracked and his body trembled, "He's alive, right?"

Eren was unresponsive. Eren felt so much guilt build up within him. He shook with fury and pain. He trembled with hate towards himself and towards Jean. He hated everything. He hated all of it.

Marco suddenly shook the brunette and screamed, "HE'S ALIVE, RIGHT!?"

Eren nodded, he masked his emotions, "He is in a light coma."

Marco started to ball and sob. Sasha and Connie tended to the taller male as best as possible. Marco soon started to sob uncontrollably, his hands covering his face. The usually cheerful freckled brunette that always smiled and had the most positive outlook on everything was standing in the middle of a hospital hallway sobbing uncontrollably and practically crumbling to the floor.

Eren ran. He rushed out without a warning and pushed the double doors open. He ran into the elevator that was barely closing. Then he took this time to rethink everything.

"Where the hell did he run off to?!" Ymir hissed out with a scowl.

Krista gripped her girlfriend's arm tightly, "He probably feels really bad. He found Jean. He was there when it happened, remember?" Krista looked at her girlfriend with sad eyes, "It must be a lot for him."

Ymir sighed quietly and muttered, "And Marco is weeping his eyes out."

The usually cold hearted Annie stood there and leaned against the wall, her eyes full of sweet sorrow. She insisted that Jean was an idiot, but he was still her friend. It hurt. She had called Reiner and Berty, but they wouldn't be there until later. She just leaned and looked down with a bitter taste in her mouth.

Mikasa hugged Armin tightly as the poor blonde was recovering from shock. Everyone was an utter mess.

XxxxX

Within five days, Jean woke up.

Within a week's time since the accident, they were able to visit Jean.

Everyone did, except Eren. Eren could not face Jean. After what happened and then he lied to make matters worse. Eren couldn't face him.

Mikasa and Armin urged him.

Marco pleaded.

Ymir threatened. Krista kept asking.

Annie continuously reminded him to go. Reiner kept telling him to see Jean. Berty just begged.

Sasha and Connie tried using some logic and light reasoning which was a surprise.

Eren wouldn't budge though. How could he?

Finally, he went.

It was early morning on a Saturday, Homecoming Saturday in fact. It had been almost two weeks since Jean woke up and he was still under intense care at the hospital. Eren had made his way there. Looking down at his visitor sticker he felt hate swell up in his gut, _I almost killed him… and he knows it._

He paused before going through the open door. There Jean was, his body sitting up as his face was turned and he was looking outside. He froze as he looked at the male who he nicknamed, Horseface. He gulped and gathered enough courage to take a step forward.

Jean's face twitched as his head turned to look at Eren. Eren waved shyly. Jean gave a warm smile.

"I was hoping you would come and visit."

"I'm sorry!" Eren blurted out while looking down.

Jean gave a confused look, but Eren continued, "You missed your biggest game and now you'll miss Homecoming!"

Jean sighed, "It's okay… at least I'm still alive. Thank you."

Eren looked up at Jean, "What for?"

"For saving my life." Jean stated. "Everyone else already told me that you were the one that found me after I fell, if you didn't I could have died." Jean sighed, "Guess you aren't that dumb, huh, Yeager?"

Eren trembled before his knees gave in. "I'm sorry Jean! I could have tried to save you before! If I didn't-"

Jean couldn't move, but he tried, "Fuck… Listen, Eren it wasn't your fault. It's okay."

Eren just stayed there.

_No one knew that it was his fault._

XxxxX

Jean was in the hospital for most of winter break. He was released after Christmas day. Jean was upset for not being able to play until next year, but happy to finally be out of the hospital.

Jean got plenty of Valentine's and was helped a lot when he got back. He would watch his teammates practice and sighed wishing he could be out there, soccer had made finals, and he hoped he would be there with them.

Eren watched Jean acting happy for his team.

Eren witnessed Jean hating being useless.

Eren observed Jean wanting to do more than he was able to.

Eren hated it all.

He hated Jean.

He hated himself.

He hated the world.

Jean was still the same with him, because for some reason it was like Jean knew that Eren didn't want him to change.

Jean didn't remember _that _day.

Eren did remember _that _day.

Jean thought Eren was a hero.

Eren knew he was a monster.

Jean hated himself for being a klutz.

Eren hated himself for what he had done.

Both of them simply wished they were no longer alive at this point.

**OoooO**

**So, spring is next! Hope you liked it….!**


End file.
